


Familiarity

by Nebbles



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Poor Sans, Spoilers, Undertale Spoilers, stuff about other timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-02 23:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5268464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They’d reached the surface. Maybe now was a good time to tell Papyrus about the resets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Familiarity

For once, Sans wished he was in a nightmare.

Papyrus’ look of disappointment chilled him to the core. He felt so small under his gaze, and all Sans could manage to do was shuffle his feet awkwardly on the ground.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

“SANS. I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME.” Papyrus didn’t sound angry. His tone remained firm, not yelling, not quiet. “SANS. WHY HAVE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME?”

“i…” Sans couldn’t find words. “it’s, uh… pap, i…”

“SANS, ANSWER THE QUESTION!” Papyrus crossed his arms. “HAVE I DONE SOMETHING TO LOSE YOUR TRUST, BROTHER?”

“…what—i… pap, it’s not that!” Sans sputtered, meeting his brother’s eyes.

“THEN WHY HAVE YOU BEEN LYING?” Papyrus replied. “SANS, YOU’VE BEEN HAVING NIGHTMARES? NIGHT TERRORS? WHY HAVE I FOUND OUT THROUGH WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND SEEING YOU HURTING? SANS, DO YOU NOT WANT MY HELP?”

“t…that’s not it…” Sans felt himself losing whatever small amount of steam he had. “it’s nothing against you. please believe that.”

“THEN WHY DON’T I KNOW WHAT’S WRONG?” Papyrus felt hurt. He thought Sans had trusted him. He thought, after a while, he’d be able to coax Sans out of his reclusiveness. Brothers – friends – weren’t supposed to lie to each other. “WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MAKE YOU THINK YOU CAN’T TRUST ME?”

“i trust you! believe that, please!” Sans couldn’t piece his thoughts together. He wanted to just tell Papyrus, but the words weren’t coming.

“THEN… THEN WHY HAVE YOU BEEN LYING?” Papyrus’ voice finally let out the hurt that he’d been feeling. “DID MY HELP MEAN NOTHING ALL THOSE NIGHTS?”

Sans didn’t know how to reply to that. He’d never felt such pure pain from Papyrus before, not in a timeline like this. This was supposed to be a good timeline. They got to the surface. Frisk hadn’t hurt anyone. They were supposed to be happy.

Why wasn’t he happy? Sans couldn’t figure it out. Why, after everything, did the nightmares still come? Why did the other timelines plague his thoughts? Why, at this very moment, was he afraid Papyrus would leave, and never come back? Why did he think his brother was going to exit into the bitter cold of Snowdin, to only meet the wrong end of a knife? Why? Why this happening?

“…i’m sorry,” Sans shifted his gaze downward again. “you haven’t done anything wrong, pap. this is all on me.”

Papyrus remained silent, arms still crossed. His expression didn’t change.

“you just wouldn’t understand, papyrus.” Sans figured this was going to end horribly anyway. He’d already hurt his brother – what redemption was there from that? “you might not even believe me anyway. or you’d just forget.”

“SANS, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Papyrus noticed the shift in Sans’ tone. He was still upset, but a feeling of concern began to wash over. “FORGET WHAT?”

“everything. this conversation. this fight. the fact that we’re here,” Sans gave a small shrug. “the fact everyone else is happy.”

“…SANS?” Papyrus uncrossed his arms, placing one hand on Sans’ shoulder. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN…?”

“we haven’t made this far in a long time,” Sans trailed off. “sometimes i still wonder if this is all a dream, pap. that it’ll all reset. i’ll wake up, and we’ll be in snowdin. it’s happened before.”

Papyrus fell silent, trying to follow Sans’ words.

“i was hoping this timeline would be the right one, y’know? but…” Sans felt himself starting to break. “…but here we are, with you disappointed in me. i can’t blame you.”

“…TIMELINE? SANS, I… I DON’T UNDERSTAND.” Papyrus kneeled down to Sans’ height. “SANS, PLEASE, TALK TO ME. I’M NOT MAD, OKAY?”

“i’ve seen so many timelines where you’ve died. where we’ve all died. where we’re trapped underground forever, no matter what. and every time, papyrus, i have to remember i’ve literally failed in everything i wanted to do,” Sans tried to keep himself calm. “…i’m a terrible brother, papyrus. i was never able to save you.”

“…SANS…” Suddenly, it all made sense. What the nightmares were about, and their frequency. Why Sans never said anything. “I… SANS, I’M SO SORRY.”

“why? i mean… all those times you called me lazy… i can’t blame you,” Sans gave a weak, sad laugh. “i just gave up. i stopped trying. what kind of brother am i, really?”

“SANS, NO, PLEASE…” Papyrus didn’t want to see Sans cry again. He’d seen so much of it. “SANS, I’M SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HURT ME, SANS…”

“but i did, pap.” Sans couldn’t face him. All that ran through his mind was the headless body of his brother. “god, pap, i messed up so many times. i’m sorry.”

“SANS, IT’S FINE, I’M NOT MAD, OKAY?” Papyrus rested both his hands on Sans’ shoulders. “YOU’RE NOT A TERRIBLE BROTHER, I PROMISE.”

“pap, now you’re the one lying,” Sans heard the smallest crack in his voice. “i am an awful brother. i gave up, i was never able to protect you, and i lied to you for the longest time. i… i don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“SANS, PLEASE, IT’S OKAY!” Papyrus hated seeing this. He hated seeing Sans so sad. This felt worse than all of the previous times, however. This was his own doing. Papyrus was the one who hounded him. He forced Sans to talk in an uncomfortable environment. He forced Sans to bring up all these sad, scary memories of other timelines where everyone was gone. “SANS, PLEASE… DON’T CRY.”

He felt Papyrus gently wipe away the tears that began to fall. Soft sobs began to fill the room as Sans wrapped his arms around Papyrus. This had happened so many times before, but the pain still felt fresh. Despite Papyrus’ tight hold on him, he was scared he’d lose him all over again. How did even know this wasn’t a dream?

“h-how do i know this isn’t a dream? what if i’m just dreaming this is a good timeline?” Sans inhaled sharply, trying to control his breathing. “how do i know, that i won’t wake up tomorrow, and you’ll be dead? i don’t k-know, papyrus, i – i, just… i don’t want you to die anymore…”

“I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE, SANS…” Papyrus knew he couldn’t guarantee that. If Sans found himself in a bad timeline, he wouldn’t be there anymore. He wouldn’t be there to help his brother whenever he hurt. Imaging Sans, all alone – that thought was sadder than anything Papyrus could think of. “I’M RIGHT HERE, OKAY? WE’RE BOTH HERE, IN THIS GOOD TIMELINE, RIGHT? THEN EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.”

“h-h-ow…” Sans choked out another sob. “h-how can i know, papyrus? i-i’ve had so many good timelines taken away from me… t-the resets, they always come, and i always end up back at the beginning. i’m so tired of seeing you die, papyrus. p-please, don’t die anymore. please.”

“SANS, I WON’T, OKAY?” He wanted to remain optimistic for his brother’s sake. Sans deserved to hear good words. The resets had to stop eventually, right? Sooner or later, Sans would land himself in that perfect timeline, and be happy. “I’M SORRY, SANS, THAT I SAID SUCH RUDE THINGS EARLIER. I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO HURT THIS WAY.”

“i… it’s happened before…” The last argument he remembered was back in Snowdin. The resets were still fairly new, and they had gotten into a fight about Sans’ forming laziness. Papyrus had left to go to befriend the human that had fallen down. That was the last Sans saw of him before the next reset. “w…we fought. y-you left to… to talk to frisk… a-and it wasn’t the good frisk. i… the next thing i saw of you was your scarf, in the snow…”

Sans broke into another round of sobs, clinging desperately to his brother. Papyrus held his brother in silence, unable to imagine even a fraction of the pain Sans had gone through, and still had to experience. That situation, Papyrus knew, was one of many where he never came home.

“i-i just want things to finally work out,” Sans gave another attempt at calming himself. “i… i just want to be happy, papyrus. i want to wake up every morning knowing this won’t be taken away. i… i just wish people remembered. i’ve had to tell you so many times before, papyrus, and… you never remember.”

“IF THERE’S ANOTHER RESET, TELL ME. TELL ME AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN. I DON’T WANT TO YOU SEE YOU HURT LIKE THIS ANYMORE, SANS. EVEN IF I DON’T REMEMBER… I JUST WANT TO HELP, OKAY?” Papyrus offered a smile, wiping away more of Sans’ tears. “I’M HERE FOR YOU, ALWAYS.”

Sans nodded weakly, leaning into his brother’s touch. He wished he possessed Papyrus’ cheery optimism. Yet, if Papyrus continued to believe so strongly they’d all be happy one day, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try and believe himself.

It’d be hard. Sans hadn’t felt hope in a long time. He felt it was best to abandon that a long time ago, after he lost count of the resets. He wanted to believe they would stop one day. That, Sans stopped believing in too. The only thing he could believe in was Papyrus. Even so, he couldn’t fully believe Papyrus was going to be alive in the next one.

“…maybe… maybe we’ll be okay,” he mumbled weakly. “we’ll wake up tomorrow, still on the surface… like we should be.”

“YES, EXACTLY, SANS!” Papyrus’ grin widened. “SEE! JUST KEEP THINKING LIKE THAT, SANS, AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.”

Hopefully, that was true. Sans felt the smallest glimmer of hope – it was fleeting, but there. That perhaps Papyrus was right, and one day, things would be okay.

“let’s hope so, bro…” Sans took another deep breath, finally feeling himself calming down. “i want to wake up here tomorrow.”

“I’M SURE WE WILL.” Papyrus gave him another tight hug. “DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP IN MY ROOM TONIGHT, SANS? JUST IN CASE OF ANOTHER NIGHT TERROR.”

“that sounds nice…” Sans felt exhausted. Sleep sounded welcoming for once. “thank you, papyrus. for everything.”

–

The next morning, Sans opened his eyes to an all too familiar sight.

“SANS! WHEN WILL YOU WAKE UP, YOU LAZYBONES?! YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO, SANS!”

Just as expected, it was futile to hope.


End file.
